To my Remus -
That's right, mine, and you can't pretend that you don't like that, the hint of possessiveness. Especially now when I'm not around to remind you. It's been, what, three weeks since we left Hogwarts?
I think it's your hands that I miss the most, but then, I can't stop thinking about my hands on you, the way they dig into the muscles of your back. I miss the noises you make. Good thing we were always so good at Silencing Charms...
Won't be too long now, until we're all together again. Until then, I'm becoming very acquainted with my own hand. Maybe this letter will give you some inspiration of your own?
Harry read the letter twice before looking up at Teddy. "Where did you find this?"
The two of them were standing in Harry's kitchen. It was a Tuesday evening, and Teddy had shown up unexpectedly just a few minutes ago. He had shoved the letter at Harry even before the water Harry put on for tea had begun to boil.
"In a box of my dad's things in Gram's attic," Teddy said. "There was a whole stack of them. I haven't read them all, just a few on the top, but they're obviously from the same person, some more..." His face collared a little, forehead going slightly pink beneath a shock of navy blue bangs. "Graphic than others."
"I... see," said Harry, fidgeting uncomfortably. "Well, you must have known that before your mother, he had other lovers..."
"Of course, but that's not - look here!" Teddy jabbed a finger at a spot on the letter. "Grimmauld Place! Do you know what that means?"
Harry knew very well what it meant. "Look, Teddy, you have to understand -"
"Which of them was it?" Teddy interrupted. "I mean, it can't have been - not Gram, that would be just too bloody - which one of them? Bellatrix or Narcissa?"
Harry blinked, taken aback. "What?"
"It had to be one of them, right? The Black sisters? Who else would be at that horrible place during the summer?" Teddy looked at Harry incredulously. "You must know something! That's practically your family too, you inherited the bloody house..."
It was on the tip of Harry's tongue to reprimand his godson for swearing, if only because Ginny had ingrained the habit into him in the last twenty years. But somehow the situation seemed to demand a little bit of colourful language. "Calm down. Remus was never involved with Narcissa or Bellatrix, I can guarantee you that." He paused, then added hurriedly, "And not your Grandmother either," before Teddy could jump to anymore conclusions.
Teddy frowned, and his nose crinkled in a way that always reminded Harry of Tonks. "Well then who? Someone wrote him this letter!"
Harry looked down at the letter in his hands, at the familiar curve of the letters, and sighed. "First, you might want to ask yourself why you want to know. Do you just want confirmation that he wasn't involved with anyone as horrible as the Black sisters, or is it truly because you want to know your father better?"
Teddy looked at him for a moment, an expression on his face that Harry thought made him look much older than twenty. "Wouldn't you?"
Ah. There was something that Harry couldn't argue with, and Teddy knew it. If there was one thing that Harry had always empathized with his godson about it was the feeling of not knowing your parents. And here, he was right - Harry always wanted to know everything he could about his parents, and that would include something like old lovers. He remembered long conversations with Remus and Sirius, practically grilling them for hours on end. It had been such a joy to him, after fourteen years of practically nothing, to finding out things like the fact that his mother always sat in the back of History of Magic so she could do homework for her other classes, or that his father spent a half hour every morning on his hair.
Harry had been that person for Teddy, telling stories about Remus. Andromeda had been there with dozens of photo albums to detail every bit of her daughter's life, but Remus had no family, and few friends. Most of the surviving members of the Order knew little more than Harry did about him, and so he told what he could, and let Mr. and Mrs. Weasley fill in the gaps. He told Teddy the same stories that Sirius had told him.
But he hadn't told him everything. Much like Sirius had neglected to tell Harry what a bully his father had once been. And even though Harry had been horrified when he'd looked into Snape's Pensieve and found out some of the bad things, he was still glad that he knew. Because it brought him closer to his father somehow. Perhaps Harry really had been doing Teddy a disservice by not telling him every detail, good or bad, or... confusing.
Finally, Harry nodded. "You're right. And think about it for a moment, Teddy. I think you're ignoring the obvious answer here."
Teddy's nose wrinkled again, but before he could respond, Harry continued, "I recognize this handwriting. It's Sirius'."
The kettle chose just that moment to whistle, and the alarming sound echoed the expression on Teddy's face. "Sirius?"
Harry bit his lip. "Let me just -" He flicked his wand at the kettle, and with a murmured, "Wingardium Leviosa," it lifted itself from the heat, and then floated to the teapot, where it poured hot water down over the leaves.
"My dad was gay?"
Harry cringed at that. "It's a little more complicated than that, Teddy. I take it from the tone in your voice that you don't exactly approve of such things?"
Teddy's open mouth closed, and he at least had the good grace to look slightly sheepish at that accusation. "That's not... it's just that he was married. To a woman! And obviously they -"
"Loved each other very much," Harry finished for him. He waved the letter. "This was fifteen years before Remus started seeing your mother. The fact that he was shagging someone else when he was in school had no bearing on their relationship."
"Liking both men and women is not exactly uncommon, Teddy. You know that."
"Yes, but it's -"
"Your dad." Harry walked over to the teapot and poured two mugs. "I know, it must seem really strange to you. But it's really not a big deal."
Teddy sank onto a barstool and then took the offered mug from Harry. "You don't seem surprised," he pointed out. "It wasn't just that you recognized the handwriting on the letter. You knew."
Harry hesitated, then sat down beside Teddy, swivelling the stool to face him. "I did know," he admitted. "I found out when Sirius was still alive."
Teddy looked down, as if suddenly the cup of tea was very, very interesting. "Were they involved... then? After Sirius got out of Azkaban?"
It felt so strange to Harry to hear Teddy talking about these things that the boy had heard about as bedtime stories. Was this somehow destroying a fairy tale for him? After all, Remus was still as selfless, his mother as loving, Sirius as brave.
"Yes," Harry admitted. "At some point, at least, before Sirius' death. I'm not sure for how long. They weren't... open about it. I just happened to see something that I shouldn't."
"And that's all you know?" Teddy asked after a moment.
Harry nodded. "You probably know more about their relationship from reading those letters than I ever did."
"I feel like I'm suddenly learning about a completely different man."
"Your father wasn't defined by who he loved," Harry said, "but by the kind of man he was. And I can imagine that both your mother and Sirius only made him a better one."
"Right," said Teddy, looking down into his teacup again. "I just wish I understood better."
"Maybe you should start by reading the rest of the letters," Harry suggested. "It might feel like you're invading his privacy, but... I can only think that he would want you to know. To understand."
"Right," repeated Teddy.
There was a long silence, in which Harry sipped his tea slowly. Finally he said, "Not that I'm not pleased for the excuse for a visit, but did you come all the way to Godric's Hollow just for this? I usually don't see you during the week."
"I took a couple of days off," Teddy said. "A bit of a reward for making it through the back-to-school rush." He'd been working at Flourish & Blotts for the past two years, and whereas it wasn't exactly the career he'd envisioned, he was content enough for the time being. "And where is Ginny?" he added, looking around, listening. The house was completely silent aside from the quiet squeak of Harry shifting uncomfortably in his chair.
"She's -" A lie was just on the tip of Harry's tongue. He'd already worked out what to tell the kids, after all, if they happened to figure it out before the winter holiday, which was when he and Ginny had decided to tell them, together. After Christmas, of course. But Teddy was not a child, and it would be patronizing to lie to him about something like this. "She's moved out," he finally said. "Ginny and I have been separated for a while, but she wanted to wait until Albus started school to move out."
Teddy looked nearly as shocked as he had when Harry had revealed the author of the letter. "You and Ginny? But - I always thought -"
"We've put on a good show of it," Harry admitted sadly, "but things have been rocky for a couple of years now."
"Why? Is it - is one of you -" Teddy sounded as if he were biting back his words, perhaps afraid it would be disrespectful to ask.
Harry shook his head. "It wasn't because of other people, it was because of us. But as I said, we've been for all and intents and purposes... separated, for nearly a year now. Both of us have seen other people in that time, discreetly."
"Good god, you must be really good at being discreet."
Harry grimaced. That much was true, at least. He'd lived most of his life in the public eye, especially after defeating Voldemort, marrying his best friend's sister, being appointed head of the Auror department... it seemed like such a fairy tale life on the surface, and everyone wanted to peer in on the picture book story. Only it looked a lot different from the inside out than from the outside looking in.
"It's all for the best," he said, swirling the last bits of tea in his cup so that the tea leaves wouldn't quite settle. He'd been wary of the bottoms of teacups ever since Trelawney had seen that grim in Third Year. "To be honest, at this point I'm worried about how it might affect my relationship with the Weasleys. I mean, the separation was on pretty friendly terms, but Ginny is their only daughter, and you know how protective Molly can be. And they're the closest thing to family that I have."
Teddy nodded sympathetically. "I don't think they'd ever turn you out though, Harry. No matter what happens between you and Ginny. You've been a part of that family since you were a kid! And besides, there's your children to think of." He hesitated, then added, "Not like me. I suppose this would be an opportune time to mention that Victoire and I broke up."
Harry's eyes widened a little, more in surprise at the coincidence than anything else. "Really? When? Are you... okay?" Teddy and Victoire had dated since his last year at Hogwarts, when she was only a fifth year. Still, it had been quite a coup - the girl was even more beautiful than her mother, if that was possible, and Teddy had been much envied.
Everyone had thought that the two of them would get married eventually, and that Teddy too would officially be a Weasley. Harry knew what that felt like. More than once in the past fifteen years he'd wondered how much that desire had factored into his decision to marry Ginny.
Teddy was already speaking. "...yeah, and, sometimes I wondered how much I was in love with her and how much I was in love with her family. But it's just that something wasn't right, you know? It made sense, and it was easy, but it just felt wrong somehow. Like it wasn't the right fit." He sighed. "Of course, she thought it was. It's been over a week and I still feel terrible, remembering the look on her face. I could tell she was waiting until I left to burst into tears. I'll bet her father wants to beat the hell out of me."
"It's not your fault, Teddy. And whereas I'm sure that Bill doesn't like to see his daughter upset, he understands that, too. Sometimes things just don't work out, even if it is one-sided. You did right by her by ending things when you did instead of letting them drag on -" Like I did. "They'll both appreciate that, eventually."
Teddy swirled a finger absently in his cooled tea. "I guess that was one of the reasons I went up into Gram's attic to look through my parents' things. I wanted to remind myself that I have my own family, you know?"
"You're still my godson, Teddy," Harry pointed out. "That's important. Really important. Especially to me. You know that even though I was only with him for a short time, Sirius was the best part of my family. I loved him more dearly than the people who raised me."
"I know. And it means a lot to me, truly. If it weren't for you and Gram..."
You would have had a childhood like mine, Harry thought sourly. The more this conversation wore on, the more he remembered how much he and Teddy had in common. In many ways they were two sides of the same coin.
"Anyway," Teddy continued, "these letters were in a box of my dad's things. I assume that when he and mum got married he didn't really have much of his own anyway, so he just boxed it up when he moved in with her. And then after they died, Gram took it along with all of Mum's things."
Harry nodded. "She asked me at the time if I wanted to go through any of it looking for mementos of my parents, but I felt strange invading Remus' privacy. I think she kind of felt the same way, even about her daughter, so most of it's still just boxed up in the attic."
"Yeah. Most of it's just silly - old clothes and knickknacks and books. The letters were in a shoebox along with some photographs. I, ah, I didn't really connect the two, until -" Teddy reached down and rummaged for a moment in his messenger bag, then pulled out two photographs - one of Sirius and Remus and James, and one of Tonks.
The first showed the three boys, probably in seventh year or shortly after, goofing it up for the camera. Sirius had his arms slung around both of them, a huge grin on his face. Remus rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, but then quirked a smile, as if he were obviously amused by his friend's antics. James had a dashing smirk on his lips that gave way to a pained face when Sirius jabbed him in the ribs. Harry wondered if his mum had been the one behind the camera.
The second photograph was of Tonks, sitting by the fireplace in the Grimmauld Place house. The camera had apparently caught her mid-morph, and as she turned her face from the fire to look at the camera, her hair went from black to pale pink. She smiled, her cheeks flushing slightly to match. She looked beautiful.
Teddy was looking at the first photograph. "When I look at it now... does it seem obvious? Is the way Sirius' eyes dart to meet his...?" He sounded as if he were grasping at straws, and Harry doubted he'd be much help. "Your dad must have known, right? Do you think it bothered him?"
Harry looked at the picture. James was laughing hysterically now, jabbing Sirius in the ribs in return. "He doesn't seem very bothered to me," he said. In fact, the three of them seemed closer than he'd ever seen them.
Teddy nodded, as his fingers trailed over the second photograph. "She was pretty, wasn't she?"
"She was. And just a really great girl, too. Ron told me that the twins both fancied her."
Teddy smiled at that. "Really?"
"Yeah, but you should have seen her with your dad. That's when she really lit up. I'll be he was the one who took this picture."
Teddy looked back down at it. "Probably so." He held out the first one. "Would you like to keep this one, Harry? I know you don't have many pictures of your dad..."
"I really couldn't, Teddy, I mean, neither do you -"
Harry hesitated, then nodded and took the photograph from him. "Thank you."
"I should probably get going," Teddy said, sliding off of the stool and slinging his bag over his shoulder.
"Well you know you're welcome here any time," Harry offered weakly. "Especially now that... well, the house is awfully empty now."
"How about I come by on Sunday afternoon?" Teddy suggested. "If you can manage to cook something, I'll bring some pies."
Harry nodded. "Sounds good." He slid off of his stool and wrapped his arms around Teddy, hugging him tightly. It might not be the masculine of gestures, but it felt like the right thing to do.
Teddy pulled away after a moment, smiling slightly. "I'll see you on Sunday," he promised, and then stepped back before disappearing with a quiet pop.
Standing alone in his kitchen, Harry realized that he was still holding the photograph.
Harry woke, sitting up abruptly in bed and feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He took a few deep breaths, trying to quell the panic attack as well as the erection that was tenting the sheets at his waist.
He still slept exclusively on the left side of the bed even though he had the whole thing to himself now. Even when he and Ginny had laid things out between them, they had continued to sleep in the same bed until she moved out. They just didn't have sex anymore, not even the perfunctory once-a-week sex that Harry had always thought was some sort of requirement of marriage.
Harry hadn't been able to keep himself from imagining, during the days when he was at work, when he knew Ginny was alone in the house because Lily was at a piano or ballet lesson, that his wife brought a man home and that he fucked her in this very bed...
Collapsing back onto the mattress, Harry decided that he needed a new bed. Of course, the dreams that had been plaguing him for the past three nights had nothing to do with Ginny.
The first he had written off as an inevitable consequence of his conversation with Teddy, a random mishmash of related images in his brain. When he'd woken with sticky sheets that first night, his first wet dream since he'd been at Hogwarts, he could recall only snatches of the dream. Not thinking much of it, he'd used his wand to clean up and then gone back to sleep.
The next night the dream had been stronger, and he'd woken up in a cold sweat with a raging erection, but it still wasn't completely clear. He'd had to wank before he was able to get back to sleep, and he forced himself to think about something completely unrelated to the dream, to think about the new lead Chaser for Ireland's Quidditch team, the one with the blonde hair and huge tits, legs that seemed to go on forever. She was like a pin-up on a broom. Every man in Western Europe was probably wanking about her at the same time.
But tonight... tonight it was more than just a dream. Because Harry realized that it wasn't just a dream at all - it was a memory.
He couldn't bring himself to reach down and wank off, not now, not with the whole thing so fresh in his mind. If this kept up, he'd never have a good sleep again.
Resolutely, he got out of bed, pulling on his robe and sliding his feet into slippers. He padded down the stairs to his office, his sanctuary, the one room in the house that his children had always known was completely off limits and that Ginny always had the good grace to knock before entering.
Everyone knew that Harry had a lot of bad memories after the war, even debilitating ones - but important ones. One of the first things the Ministry had done after hiring him into the Auror department had been to give him a Pensieve. For his own personal peace of mind, they assured him. His memories would never be used against him.
He wasn't so sure about that, and so part of him had always been wary of putting personal memories into the thing even though it was locked up in his study under a dozen wards, but that seemed a dull argument against the prospect of never sleeping again.
So Harry got out the Pensieve, settled himself in his desk chair, and touched his wand to his temple...
Harry tossed and turned in his bed. In the days leading up to his trial at the Ministry, he'd hardly been able to sleep at all, and tonight was no exception. Finally he gave up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, throwing on his robe and padding quietly out of the room, careful not to wake Ron.
The upstairs hallway in Grimmauld Place was nearly pitch black at night, and Harry lit the tip of his wand to light the way. He was planning on heading down to the kitchen to get some warm milk, maybe even sneak a sip of Sirius' stash of firewhisky if he could find it.
He froze when he heard a sound coming from one of the rooms to his right. He turned his head slowly to look, and saw a sliver of light coming from a cracked open door. Not wanting to answer any questions about why he couldn't sleep, definitely not wanting anymore sympathy, he stayed completely still, listening. Wanted to make sure that no one was coming out.
He heard a moan. But it was definitely a... good kind of moan. And then, barely inaudible, an unidentifiable voice: "Oh yeah, baby..."
Harry felt his face flush, and his eyes darted over the hallway, counting closed doors. This was Sirius' room! Harry's mind raced, as he tried to think how on earth Sirius would have met a girl. Which was an easier thing to think about than the fact that his godfather was in that room having sex.
Not that Harry could blame him, really - after all, twelve years in Azkaban? It seemed like one of the first things he would have wanted to do when he got out was get laid. Being fifteen, that was something that Harry could definitely understand. He could hardly go a night without wanking, which had gotten a lot trickier since he'd been sharing a room with Ron. He suspected that a lot of the boys who were going to be moving back to Gryffindor Tower soon had spent their summers perfecting Silencing Charms.
But who could it be? It wasn't as if Sirius had had much opportunity to meet women. Harry's mind flitted to Tonks, the pink-haired Auror who had been with his rescuing party. Her? She was really the only girl he'd seen around Grimmauld Place even close to Sirius' age... Feeling guilty before he even started but unable to contain his curiosity, Harry stepped closer to the door, flattening himself against the wall beside it, and then craning his head just enough to peer through the crack.
It was definitely not Tonks. Harry was confused for a moment because he thought maybe it wasn't Sirius' room after all, because the first thing he saw was Remus' face in profile, because he was standing, facing the bed.
But then Harry realized that the other person in the room was not a woman at all - that, rather, Remus was the other person in the room. Because Sirius was there too, and he was on his knees beside the bed, enthusiastically sucking Remus' cock.
Harry's neck burned. He hadn't even considered... Sirius and Remus were gay? The more he thought about it, the more it made some sort of sense, and the more he thought about it, the longer he stood there watching them. And the longer he watched, the louder Remus moaned, and the harder Sirius sucked, and... the more Harry's own cock began to swell inside his pyjamas.
Harry felt fairly mortified by his reaction, but he'd never seen anything like this before, and it was just so... He told himself that it was just because he was fifteen and any sex was bound to give him wood, that it didn't matter that there weren't any tits involved, and it wasn't really his fault, and it didn't mean that he was gay too...
But by the time Sirius rose from his knees, wrapped his arms around Remus' neck and kissed him, and then settled back onto the bed, spreading his legs... Harry found himself almost involuntarily reaching his hand down into his y-fronts, wrapping his fingers around his erection.
He had never seen two men having sex before, though the mechanics were intuitive enough. And he'd certainly never imagined that it would be so beautiful - the way that the lean muscles in Remus' back moved, scars rippling over his skin, as he positioned himself over Sirius. The way that Sirius' hair splayed out over the pillow, dark and long and just unwashed enough that it had a bit of a greasy gleam.
Harry watched, craning his neck to get a better angle, as Remus slid inside Sirius, as Sirius' back arched off of the bed and a low moan escaped his lips. He groaned something nearly inaudible, but Harry thought it was, "Fuck, Moony, I missed you so much..."
And as Remus began to thrust harder, Harry began to stroke faster, his palm sliding furiously over his cock as he watched his godfather being fucked.
Harry was close, so close, and he was just about to close his eyes and just let it happen, but then he heard Remus make a strangled noise, and watched as Remus's body sagged a little over Sirius. He pulled himself away then, and Harry saw Sirius' cock, still hard and glistening. When Remus lowered his head to take it into his mouth, Harry got his first good look at his godfather's face. Pure bliss.
As Harry watched Remus go down on Sirius, listened to Sirius moan and sigh, he started to pull himself off again, and it wasn't long until his own orgasm came rushing at him.
He couldn't help the quiet, strangled noise that escaped him as he came hot and sticky over his hand, and as he wiped it on the back of his y-fronts, he peered back into the room and saw that Sirius was staring straight at the crack in the door.
Straight at him.
Horrified, Harry realized that if the crack was large enough for him to see in, then it must be large enough for Sirius to at least be able to tell he was there. He braced himself, sure that Sirius was going to tear out of bed and start yelling at him for spying, but instead...
Sirius' eyes dropped down to Remus' head and his lips moved: "Faster." And then he looked up again. And he stared at Harry - right at Harry - as suddenly, his body shook, his mouth formed a small 'o', and his back arched off of the bed. He'd been watching Harry as he came.
Before Remus even lifted his head, Harry was tearing off down the hallway, back into his and Ron's room. He jumped into his bed and lay there underneath the quilt, breathing heavily.
He could hardly believe what he'd just seen. And as he started to replay it in his head, he realized that he was starting to get hard again...
Harry was breathless when he pulled the wand from his temple, having trapped the memory in his Pensieve. He realized with some frustration that he still had an erection.
Trying to ignore the insistent arousal, he didn't even look at the Pensieve, just took a deep breath, sitting stiffly in his chair.
He had never spoken to Sirius about what he'd seen, never spoken to anyone about it, until Teddy, and even then... Sirius hadn't seemed uncomfortable at all, hadn't acted as if anything had changed. In fact, everything seemed so normal that Harry had questioned whether it had happened at all. He'd pushed it into the back of his mind all these years. But somehow... he knew it had happened.
And he'd never forgotten that look on Sirius' face as he came.
Over twenty years later, and Harry could still pull it up in his mind. And he couldn't pretend that he hadn't before, especially when he'd begun to realize... well, he might have thought at the time that his arousal at the scene was only due to adolescent hormones, but years later, after he was married, he began to realize that that was not entirely the case.
He did not blame his attraction to men for the failure of his marriage, but he couldn't deny that it had contributed to his sense of unrest. The same sort of unrest that came from realizing that maybe he'd wanted to marry Ginny's family more than he'd wanted to marry Ginny.
Harry's eyes flicked over to the edge of his desk where the photograph of Sirius, Remus, and his father lay. He wondered if his father knew. He must have known.
Again, Harry flashed to that look on Sirius' face. And then to another look, a sadder one, once when he'd been sitting in front of the fireplace, staring into the embers, and then turned and looked up at Harry -
"Wotcher, James," he'd said, a softness to his eyes that Harry had never seen before. And an emotion in his voice that Harry hadn't been able to identify.
And Harry had simply lightly corrected him as he'd glanced over to the near-empty bottle of firewhisky.
Now, Harry thought he saw that same look. A softness to Sirius' eyes, as he turned in the photograph and looked at Remus.
Harry shook his head, wrenching his gaze away from the photograph. It was late. It was the middle of the night, and putting memories into the Pensieve was always draining. Now was not the time to dredge up things and... overanalyze.
He walked through the silent, empty house back to his bedroom, where he climbed into the left side of the bed and pulled up the quilt.
And then he wanked, and came harder and longer than he could remember in a very long time. And for the first time since he was a teenager, he was thinking about his godfather while he did it.
Andromeda Tonks had taken up knitting in the years since her husband and daughter's death, and Teddy couldn't remember a time when their house was not filled with half-finished sweaters and scarves and tea cosies. It was something of an impressive accomplishment when she did finish something, and Teddy had the drawer full of warm accessories to show for it. But at the very least, when she decided that a certain project was useless, she would always repurpose the materials - and as a result, most things she made were colourful and eccentric, the colour scheme unplanned, a sweater the result of three unfinished scarves of varying colours and types of yarn. Over the years, this progressed into a comforting sort of entropy, and today as Teddy went to visit her, he wore a scarf that was no less than four different shades of red, with a spatter of blue and bronze that had once been the beginning of a Ravenclaw sweater-vest for Victoire.
His Grandmother greeted him with a wide smile, a big hug, and the familiar smell of rosemary and butter when he showed up on her doorstep. "I wasn't expecting you!" she gushed, pulling him inside. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Teddy Lupin - over a week and not a single owl! Who would tell me if you suddenly dropped dead in that fancy new flat of yours?"
"I'd hardly call it fancy, Gram, and I've just been busy, that's all." She apparently didn't realize that he'd been by earlier in the week while she was out running errands. He hadn't really wanted to explain why he was suddenly interested in going through his father's things, so he hadn't waited around for her to return before leaving. "But I'm here now, yeah? Maybe I should have announced myself ahead -"
"Oh, pish posh. This will always be your home too, Teddy Bear. Now I've just made a batch of pumpkin pasties this morning..."
Teddy cringed a little at the nickname as she dragged him into the kitchen. He'd always found it silly, and it had nearly been enough to start him going by "Ted" when he was fourteen or so. But Gram had found it troublesome, getting that sad expression in her eyes as she always did when she thought of her dead husband, and the kids at school couldn't remember, and well, even if Teddy's name was a little childish, it was still what his parents had called him...
Once in the kitchen, Teddy saw Kingsley sitting at the breakfast table, and he offered a pleasant greeting in return. "How was the fishing trip?"
The former Auror grinned. "Fantastic. Didn't catch a bloody thing, but had a hell of a time doing it."
Andromeda rolled her eyes. "They never catch anything. Honestly, you'd think that a group of highly trained Aurors -"
"Fish are slipperier than dark wizards," Kingsley said, and then winked at Teddy and added, "Smarter, too."
Like the knitting, Teddy could hardly remember a time when Kingsley Shacklebolt hadn't been a familiar fixture in their household. Teddy's mother's former partner, he'd spent a good deal of time with her grieving mother after her death. It was unclear how exactly things progressed from comfort to friendship and eventually more, but it was certainly slow going. Kingsley had only been living here for four years. Even after he was no longer Minister, their relationship was not a public one. Andromeda insisted that she was an old woman, but it was clear that she never intended to remarry, for Ted's sake - and Kingsley, for his part, didn't care. They both seemed happy with the current arrangement, and Teddy had no complaints. Kingsley made his Grandmother happy, and it had been good to have another masculine influence in his childhood, even if he didn't like the word getting around that his Gram was dating the Minister of Magic.
Teddy smiled at Kingsley and then turned back to his Grandmother as she placed a pasty in front of him. "I was wondering if we could talk for a bit, Gram?"
Kingsley pushed his chair back. "I was actually just about to head to the grocery store, as I noticed we're out of eggs."
Teddy bit his lip. "Oh, I didn't mean -"
"Quite all right," Kingsley said, putting his hand on Teddy's shoulder. "I really was about to go out. Quiche for dinner tonight if you stick around." He kissed Andromeda's forehead, and then Disapparated.
"How's work?" Andromeda asked, suddenly busying herself with making tea.
"Oh, it's fine. Calmed down a bit after the back-to-school rush. So I've been thinking -"
"You know, Kingsley could get you a very nice job at the Ministry. You're such a clever boy, Teddy, it's a shame that -"
Oh, how many times had he heard this in the past three years? "I like where I am, Gram. I promise if I ever decide I want to work at the Ministry, I'll let him know."
His Grandmother simply shrugged, settling into the seat beside him at the table. "So what brings you by, my dear?"
Teddy politely took a bite of scone, chewed and swallowed, and then said, "Actually, I just kind of wanted to chat. About Mum and Dad."
Andromeda hesitated, as she always seemed to do when the subject of her daughter or husband came up, as if it were painful just to remember. But then she said, "Well of course, Teddy. What do you want to know?"
"Well you've told me so much about Mum," Teddy pointed out. "With all the photographs, and the stories, and everything... but I was wondering what you know about my father. I mean, you and my mum were so close that she must have spoken of him a lot, at least..."
His Grandmother took a sip of tea and then said, "Your father was a lovely man. I will admit, it took me a while to warm to him. Ted and I both. Because, well, Nymphadora was our only child, and we just wanted what was best for her. Life was very difficult for werewolves then, even worse than they are now. But we knew that he was a good man. He had to be, to be in the Order. And she loved him so very much."
"Did she tell you about how they met? When they were both in the Order?"
"Oh, that's not exactly how they met! Did I never tell you that story?" A smile touched Andromeda's lips and she said, "Sirius was really the only member of my family that I had any contact with at all after I married Ted, you know. We were both the black sheep of the family, so to speak. Burned out of that bloody tapestry, and all the better for it! In any case, when he left Hogwarts, he certainly wasn't going to go back to that place. So Ted and I loaned him some money to help him get started. He came by one day to thank us, and he brought a friend with him."
Teddy blinked. "My dad?"
"Yes. It was the first time I ever met Remus. I remember how quiet and polite he was, a handsome young man, sad smile. Sirius had insisted on borrowing only the money he needed to get a bare bones apartment, and I remember them talking about how as soon as he got a job, he'd get a bigger place so that he and Remus could be roommates. I didn't know at the time about Remus' condition and I remember wondering why it was that he couldn't get a job himself. He was living with James and Lily at the time, I believe. In any case, Nymphadora was about... oh, eight or nine years old? She thought that Sirius was the cat's pyjamas, and asked if he could be her new babysitter. And I remember -" Andromeda shook her head, chuckling softly to herself. "I remember her suddenly getting all polite, like it was rubbing off on her, holding out her hand for Remus to shake and saying, 'Hello, my name is Nymphadora Tonks, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.'"
"Maybe she had a crush on him even then, who knows? But things got so crazy with the Order then, and well, there were only a couple of years until Sirius was put away... so we didn't see them again. And then suddenly Nymphadora was fresh out of Auror training and confiding in me that she'd joined the newly reinstated Order of all things - Merlin, but we were scared for her!" Andromeda took a sip of her tea, and Teddy noticed her hand trembling a little. "Anyway, one weekend she came home to visit with me, and asked me if I remembered Remus. I could tell, from the moment she mentioned him, what she was feeling. Of course, she thought that he didn't even know she existed. Their relationship was a bit slow going in the beginning. But as the weeks passed, she talked about him more and more."
This was the story that Teddy knew, the short version. That his mother and father had both been in the Order, that they were friends for a while and that it slowly blossomed into love, even though they both realized what an inconvenient time it was. That his father had been reluctant, thinking that he couldn't care for her properly, that she'd finally managed to convince him that love was all they needed.
Teddy hesitated, and then finally just decided to ask. "Gram, about my father and Sirius. Did they... I mean, did you..." He wasn't sure to ask this.
To her credit, she looked surprised, but not shocked, simply that she was taken aback to hear him asking, but not from the question itself. "You mean, did I know that Sirius and Remus were lovers," she clarified.
Teddy bit his lip and nodded.
"Well, I'm not sure how you worked that one out, but there again, you are clever, aren't you!" She smiled. "So, yes, I obviously did know something. I knew when they came to visit us that time that they were together. It wasn't an obvious thing, but I just knew. I also suspected that it had something to do with why Sirius was blacklisted in the family. Not for being gay, of course, but imagine - a Black involved with a half-blood, and a werewolf, no less! Nearly as bad as my own transgression."
"And after Sirius came back?"
Andromeda shook her head. "I've no idea. I only knew that they were involved in school. And of course, well... I was a mother, Teddy. It may not have been my business, but I saw it as my duty to warn her."
Teddy looked surprised. "You told my mother?"
"Well at the time, she had no idea that Remus was interested in her at all. I thought it would save her a lot of time and heartache, if she knew that he might be gay. So yes, when she first mentioned her interest in him, I told her about him and Sirius."
"And what did she say?"
"She was disappointed at first - you know, going off on the single woman's tirade about how all the good ones are gay or married. Which, being around all the Order blokes all the time, I can see why she would think that. I mean, who was she supposed to date, Severus Snape? I was rather hoping she might get on with Bill Weasley, but then he came home with a Veela..."
Teddy thought of Victoire and swallowed.
"But then," Andromeda continued, "a few weeks later she was talking about him again. I asked her about it, and she said that there was no problem. I didn't ask her to elaborate, so I always just assumed that Remus was bisexual, or he and Sirius had simply been adolescent experimentation, or what-not. And I suppose it all worked out for the best, right?"
Well, Teddy thought, it had worked out swell until they both died.
"Because now I have you," Andromeda clarified, and leaned over the table to give him a quick hug.
"Thanks, Gram," he said. Part of him wanted to drill her some more, ask more about his dad, about Sirius, but he thought he'd had enough revelations for one day. He'd talk to Harry again when he saw him this weekend - maybe he'd remembered something.
"So are you going to stay for dinner?" his Grandmother asked, as she stood and swept up the dishes from the table.
"Only if you promise not to have Kingsley talk about the advantages of a proper Ministry job," Teddy said.
She looked over her shoulder from the sink. "Deal."
Harry didn't make it up to Hogwarts much these days, not really having cause to do so, and not wanting to embarrass his children besides. It was hard enough being Harry Potter's kid without having him hanging about, checking on them all the time. James would probably be mortified.
But Harry knew ways in and out of the Castle that would have him spotted by no one, and by the time he got to the Headmaster's Office and whispered the last password he remembered -"Calico!" - he was pretty sure that his children would be none the wiser to his presence.... even though he wished he could look in on Lily. But he knew it would help her settling in in the long run not to see him for a while.
The Headmaster's office was empty - Headmistress, he had to remind himself, even after twenty years - and Harry felt slightly guilty for trespassing, but it wasn't Minerva McGonagall that he'd come to see.
"Why hello, Harry, so nice to see you!"
And despite the warm welcome, it wasn't Albus Dumbledore, either.
"Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore," Harry said politely, turning to the portrait and nodding at the kind, wise face. Just as Harry remembered him, though the artist hadn't quite managed to catch that particular twinkle in the old wizard's eye.
Dumbledore seemed quite pleased at Harry's company, and his cheerful account of the recent Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff was in stark contrast to the face that Harry finally found among the rows of portraits, the one that he was looking for.
Snape's arms were crossed in distaste, and he glared at Harry from the heavy gold frame. He looked a bit out of place in his surroundings - a landscape of the English countryside on what appeared to be a warm Spring day, judging from the blooming flowers.
"Severus!" Dumbledore said sternly. The two portraits were on opposite walls of the study. "Were you trying to run away? My word, it's just Harry..."
"I was not running," Snape insisted sourly, but was somewhat less convincing when a high-pitched voice popped up from below him -
"Hey! This is my painting! I want this man removed at once! Trespasser!"
Harry lifted an eyebrow. "Snape, let her go."
Snape rolled his eyes, and a young woman dressed in a white and gold summer dress (Harry vaguely recalled her as being Helga Hufflepuff's daughter) popped up and glared at him. Then she gave him a good shove and he went tumbling out of view.
Harry's eyes followed the slouched, dark figure as he climbed through the row of paintings until finally settling back into his. He seemed more at home against the dark green background, inside the thick silver frame. "I cannot thank you enough for securing my position here," Snape said sarcastically.
Harry rolled his eyes. They had had this conversation before. It had actually taken some work on Harry's part to see that Snape's portrait was placed in here amongst those of the other Hogwarts headmasters. Many had deemed it inappropriate, even after Snape was exonerated for his involvement with Voldemort, simply because he had abandoned his post. But Harry knew how much he had really done for Hogwarts.
If Snape was grateful, he had done his best to hide it.
"One of these days I'll simply have them haul you out to the garbage," Harry promised.
"The company might be an improvement."
Harry just looked at him for a moment. Twenty years later, and all the revelations about his mother, and about Dumbledore, and Voldemort... and Snape still treated Harry with the same amount of disdain he'd greeted him with at age eleven.
"I thought I noticed another of your brats running around," Snape added, as if he weren't sure he'd been quite mean enough yet.
Harry looked at him sharply. His kids were off limits. "Her name is Lily," he said coldly.
To his credit, Snape actually looked a bit taken aback at that, but it lasted only for a moment, and then he sniffed, lifting his chin. "Professor McGonagall isn't here," he pointed out.
"I didn't come here to see her. I came to see you."
"Really. I'm dead, you know. And apparently not a moment too soon, if you have suddenly decided that we should be the best of friends."
Harry was already regretting his decision to come here. But if he was going to get a good night's sleep again, and if he was going to be able to tell Teddy the truth, then he needed to know for sure. And Snape, for all the mocking it was bound to include, would at least be straight with him.
Ignoring the interested expressions from the other portraits on the walls, Harry asked resolutely, "I was wondering what you could tell me about Sirius and Remus."
Snape pulled a face. "Other than that they were idiots?"
"I wanted to know what you knew about their... relationship."
A snort escaped Snape's lips at that. "What, that they were a couple of poufs? Took you long enough to work that one out, Boy Hero."
Harry had a feeling that it didn't matter if he was thirty-five or seventy-five, that Snape would always see him as a child. And he didn't think that had anything to do with the static quality of being a painting.
Forcing himself to remain completely calm, Harry said, "What I don't understand is - I mean, you spent so much energy mocking them and hating them, so why didn't you ever use that as ammunition? Especially when Remus married Tonks..."
"What should I care if the werewolf made a beard out of that girl?"
Harry scowled. "It is possible to be attracted to both men and women, you know."
"Oh ho, hit a nerve, have I? Well, don't worry, if you decide that wife of yours isn't doing it for you, there are... what, a good dozen Weasley boys to choose from, aren't there?"
Now he'd hit a nerve. "At least I didn't spend thirty years pining over someone who didn't want me," Harry snapped.
Snape glared at him. "Speaking of beards -"
"You shut up!" Harry yelled, and suddenly, he felt like he was fifteen again. Here he was, a grown man with children of his own, and Snape could still make him feel like some angst-ridden teenager. Not to mention that in one flippant half-statement, he'd pretty much confirmed Harry's fears.
"Now, my boy -" That was Dumbledore, who had apparently decided to play mediator, but neither Harry nor Snape was interested.
"Doesn't that seem like a good reason for me not to harp on the issue?" Snape pointed out, regarding Harry coolly. "It wasn't just Remus and Sirius, and everyone knew it. I thought it more important not to humiliate Lily, even in her memory, than to mock your father and his boyfriends."
Harry suddenly felt his face burning with embarrassment, and he didn't even know how to respond. He'd known that he would get the truth from Snape, but he also knew that it wouldn't be unbiased. There had to be more to it than that. He'd been able to assure Teddy that his father loved his mother - why would he be doubting the same thing now about his own parents?
It was something of a relief, to hear Professor McGonagall's voice, even if Harry was embarrassed to be caught in her office without permission. At least it rescued him from having to come up with an appropriate response to Snape's vitriol.
"Hello, Professor," Harry said, turning to where she stood at the top of the stairs. "I'm sorry I didn't let you know I was coming, but -"
"It's all right," she assured him, and then stepped a little to the side, gesturing for him to join her. "If you're done here, why don't we go for a walk?"
Harry snuck a glance at Snape, who merely regarded him with the usual amount of disdain. With a hint of smugness to his expression now as well.
"Do come back soon," Dumbledore said pleasantly as Harry followed McGonagall out of the office.
It was in the middle of a class period, so there were no students in the corridors as Harry and the headmistress made their way out to the grounds.
"It's almost comforting to see that some things never change," McGonagall commented. "You might understand Severus a lot better now, but the revelations about his true loyalties didn't change his feelings about you. As unfair as they may be."
Harry's face heated a little, realizing that she had overheard at least part of their conversation. "Amazing that he manages to torment me even from the grave? I'm sure that would please him more than anything else. I should have known better than to ask him about this, but I couldn't think of anyone else that would know and definitely give it to me straight..."
"He wasn't lying," McGonagall said simply.
Harry stopped walking, turning to look at her with a surprised expression. "You knew?"
"I was their head of House, Harry. I always know far more than any of you give me credit for."
Harry really didn't want to think too hard about that. "And so... it was true? My dad was gay?"
McGonagall hesitated. "I wouldn't say it was that simple, Harry. Especially where your father was involved. Remus and Sirius were fairly open about their relationship, but James... he was a bit more subtle. I'm not certain that it was exactly common knowledge that he was involved with them as well. And then everyone wrote it off as adolescent experimentation, when he started dating your mother."
"As far as I know, when James was with Lily, he was only with Lily. And Severus is perfectly aware of that as well. He was just pushing your buttons."
Harry felt some relief at that. After all, how could he fault his father for having some... experiences, when he'd done the same thing?
Relief, that was one feeling. Another was a tug of unease, remembering that look in Sirius' eyes. Remembering him calling him 'James'. Remembering how Remus was always so quick to remind Sirius that Harry was not James.
And another feeling, buried under everything else - jealousy? Of who, his own father?
"There's no reason for you to feel any differently about your parents after this," McGonagall was saying. "And there's really no need to dredge up the past, is there? They loved each other, you know that. And with Sirius and Remus both gone as well..." She sighed sadly. "Well, I can only imagine that the four of them are somewhere together again. Happy."
Harry nodded. He wasn't about to tell her about Teddy's inquiries. There was no reason to drag his godson into this. "Thank you, Professor McGonagall," he said.
"Please," she said, smiling and laying a hand on his arm. "How many times in twenty years must I ask you to call me Minerva?"
It was Friday afternoon, and Teddy was having a rather difficult time shelving books. His mind kept wandering, and he suddenly realized that he was holding the same copy of Voyages With Vampires that he had been ten minutes ago. Finally he reached out and slid it into the "L" section of Fiction.
He had been working at Flourish & Blotts ever since he'd finished school at Hogwarts, despite his Grandmother's numerous attempts to get him to be more "ambitious." He had, until sixth year, assumed that he would follow in his mother's footsteps and become an Auror. But when the time came to actually apply, he had changed his mind. He realized that it wasn't really what he wanted. That it had been more about being close to his parents than embarking upon an actual career. In fact, the decision felt a lot like his recent decision to break up with Victoire.
Teddy had been a Ravenclaw, not a brash Gryffindor like his father or a selfless Hufflepuff like his mother. Though to be honest, he'd crossed the House lines more than most other students. He was popular in school, perhaps partially because of his connection to Harry (having started at Hogwarts before any of the actual Potter children), but also simply because he was a nice guy, and he had a good sense of humour. His being a Metamorphmagus didn't hurt either. Unlike his mother, he didn't tend to change his own appearance very much back then, largely because he appreciated how he looked like his parents - his mother's heart-shaped face and big eyes, his father's shaggy, light brown hair. And his eyes were dark, nearly black, a trait he shared with his Grandmother and apparently most of the Blacks. But he did love doing impressions, entertaining his classmates by morphing his features into those of Professor Longbottom and stammering excitedly about flowers, or into those of Headmistress McGonagall and giving a lecture on the importance of walking in straight lines.
Now that he had been working in the bookstore for two years, he realized that he did want to do something more, he just hadn't quite worked out the details yet. As much as he loved being around all of the books (and oh, how he'd read in those two years!), he wanted to give something more of himself than stocking shelves and helping customers. He only knew for sure that he didn't want to work at the Ministry. Since breaking up with Victoire, however, he'd been thinking more carefully, and had even begun looking into the requirements to take up study as a mediwizard. He hadn't told his Grandmother yet though, not wanting to get her hopes up.
Teddy jumped a little, startled out of his own thoughts. He turned, and was surprised to see Percy Weasley standing there. The older man stood there stiffly, and pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "Hello, Teddy," he said. "I was wondering if you could help me find something."
"Sure, Percy. How have you been?" Teddy slid the other Lockhart book he was holding onto the shelf.
"Quite well, thank you. Things have been a bit busy since the new season started."
Teddy nodded. For several years now, Percy had been the head of the Magical Games and Sports division of the Ministry. At first blush it seemed like an odd fit for him, being so foppish and obviously not athletic - but Teddy knew that he had a great fondness for Quidditch (as a spectator anyway), and that most department head jobs involved mostly paperwork and bureaucracy anyway, which was something that Percy was exceedingly good at.
And coincidentally, given Teddy's current state of mind, Percy was the only openly gay man that he knew well.
"What are you looking for?" Teddy asked.
"The newest Morgan Morrowind book," Percy said. "I understand that it was released yesterday, but I didn't see it in the store. Perhaps you still have it boxed up?"
"Oh, you're right. We just got the crates in this morning and haven't had a chance to set up the display yet." Actually, it should have been done by now, if Teddy hadn't been so slow today. "I'll go grab one for you right now, though."
"I would appreciate that, thank you."
Teddy excused himself and walked to the back of the store where he opened up the crate and pulled out the top book, turning it over in his hands briefly to check for any imperfections, and then carried it back to Percy. "I wouldn't have taken you for the murder mystery type," he admitted.
"I like reading novels on the weekends," said Percy. "I like fiction, plots that go quickly and don't require a lot of thought."
The cover of the novel showed a man's bare throat, a wand pressing against it, just barely making an indentation in his skin. The title was Tipping Point.
"Well this probably qualifies," Teddy said with a grin. "Shall I ring it up for you?"
As they headed to the register, Teddy went back and forth in his head, trying to decide whether he should try to strike up a conversation with Percy about certain things on his mind... It wasn't as if he was that close to Percy. He knew him probably less than the other members of the Weasley family, if only because Percy had always kept his distance slightly from all of them. That was just his personality.
Once he was behind the counter, Teddy rang up Percy's book and then admitted, "I suppose I should tell you, Victoire and I broke up. I wasn't sure if she'd told her family yet..."
Percy lifted one eyebrow, a subtle motion. "I hadn't heard, no, but I don't keep up with the family gossip as frequently as some. Was your parting amicable?"
"Mostly," Teddy said. "I mean, I suppose it was mostly my idea, but she understood... I think. It just..." He hesitated. "I knew that it didn't fit, you know? It seems kind of crazy that it took years to figure that out, but I couldn't just pretend..."
Percy actually looked sympathetic at that. "I was in a similar situation once," he admitted. "When I was in school, I dated a girl for two years - Penelope Clearwater. And well, she wasn't a good fit for me, for obvious reasons. It took me longer than it should have to admit that both to myself and to her."
Teddy nodded. "When, um. When did you know that you were...?" It seemed that the subject had managed to come up organically.
"Gay? Oh, I guess I knew for sure when I started dating Penny. It's not that I didn't love her, but I began to realize that I didn't really have any passion for her."
Teddy found it a bit odd, listening to Percy Weasley talk about being passionate. It was something he had trouble picturing. "So you don't like women at all?"
"I can appreciate when a woman is attractive," Percy said bluntly, "but I'm not really attracted to them."
"Do you think it's possible to be attracted to both women and men?" Teddy blurted. He was still holding the book, having not taken Percy's money yet.
There went Percy's eyebrow again. "I think it's possible, yes. In fact, I know it is. The last man I was involved with was bisexual." He paused. "Is there a... particular reason you're asking about this, Teddy?"
Teddy felt the back of his neck heating up a little. "I..."
"Victoire is a very beautiful woman," Percy said. "I can certainly understand how you might have been confused, being with her for so long..."
Teddy blinked at him. "Me? Oh... oh, no, not me!" That just made him blush more, and he got a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Oh!" Percy looked sheepish. "I didn't mean to assume -"
"No, it's fine. The truth is..." Teddy cleared his throat, setting the book down on the counter. "I recently found out that my father was involved with Sirius Black. Before he married my mother."
Percy looked surprised. "Oh! Oh, my. Well, I can understand how that might come as a surprise."
Teddy nodded. "I mean, it's not that it bothers me, it's just that... yeah. A surprise. I never knew my father, but there were some things that I thought I did know about him, and I never pictured him, you know. That way."
Percy pushed his glasses up on his nose again and said, "It's not uncommon, you know, for men to hide it. Especially if there is a marriage involved. But you should realize - it doesn't necessarily predetermine infidelity. Just because you like both men and women doesn't mean that you can't commit to one person. I mean, even Harry never cheated on -"
There was suddenly a moment of shocked silence. Teddy, disbelieving what he'd just heard, and Percy apparently in equal disbelief in what he just said.
Percy's cheeks went pink, so deep that it nearly concealed his freckles. "Teddy, maybe you should just pretend you didn't hear that."
"Harry?" Teddy blurted, ignoring him. "Harry likes men?"
"Shhhh!" Percy leaned in closer, pushing his glasses up again, this time obviously because there was a bead of sweat forming on the bridge of his nose. "Teddy, please. You have to understand that this is not common knowledge. And if Harry hasn't seen fit to tell you -"
"Well, he did tell me about his and Ginny's separation, and that they've both been seeing other people..." Teddy still looked taken aback, but he had at least lowered his voice. "How did you know? Did -" Suddenly he remembered what Percy had said earlier, that the last man he had been with had been bisexual. "You! You and Harry?"
Percy still looked mortified, but now he looked sheepish as well. "Yes," he admitted quietly. "Harry and I were involved. And... I can't believe I'm telling you this. Teddy, I'm sure you understand how important discretion is on this matter."
"Because of Ginny."
"Ginny knows," Percy said. "But I assume that the rest of the family doesn't. Things are going to be difficult enough for Harry with the divorce, and none of us - Ginny included - want there to be any additional reason for him to feel uncomfortable in our family."
"I won't say a word," Teddy promised, though his head was still spinning. Harry and Percy? It was just so impossible to wrap his head around. "So things didn't work out between the two of you?"
"It's a difficult situation, Teddy. It was probably ill-advised to begin with, and in the end... well, Ginny is my sister. Even if they were separated at the time, it still wasn't right. And in the end, I've already had enough distance between myself and my family. I've learned to put them first, even ahead of my own happiness."
Teddy felt a twinge of something, but ignored it. Instead, he just nodded. "Well, I promise I won't say anything," he repeated. That felt important. He didn't want to be responsible for doing anything that would hurt Harry.
"I know how important Harry is to you," Percy said. "How much you respect him. So maybe it's better that you do know - because now you know that your father still would have been worthy of that sort of respect. No matter what his sexuality."
Teddy bit his lip. "Thank you, Percy. I..." He didn't really quite know what to say. What was there to say, after all that?
Percy just smiled, and then pulled a handful of galleons out of his pocket and slid them across the counter to Teddy, who blushed furiously as he counted out his change and handed him the book.
"If you want to talk more," Percy said, "you know where to find me. My door is always open to you."
Teddy nodded, and thanked him again. As he watched Percy go, he felt a strange tangle of emotions, but there was one in particular that surprised him - jealousy.
Teddy lived in a small flat in a building not far from Diagon Alley. He didn't make quite enough money at the bookshop to cover the rent, so he was living mostly off of the small trust fund set up for him using the money from his mother's life insurance. His mother and father hadn't had much money to leave him, but the Ministry did provide some funds for the families of those Aurors who died in the line of duty.
He didn't have to work on Saturday morning, and so he slept in and then went to work cleaning his flat, which had gotten to be a bit of a wreck in the weeks since Victoire had stopped coming over. It was amazing how motivated he'd been to keep it tidy when there was a girl staying over regularly.
When he found a pair of her knickers wedged between his mattress and headboard, he felt a twinge of regret. He wondered if he should owl her, just to see how she was doing. She had promised she wasn't angry, and that they were parting as friends, but who can tell with women?
As he finished making up his bed, Teddy heard a tap at his window. He opened it, and a familiar owl flew in. It was Lysander, his Grandmother's owl. He was holding a small, book-shaped package wrapped in brown paper, and a note tacked to the top. "Thank you, Lys," Teddy said, and fed him a bit of bread before taking the package and sending him on his way.
Once he closed the window, Teddy sat down and unfolded the note.
I did some thinking after our conversation yesterday, and I appreciate you wanting to know as much about your parents as you possibly can. I've been holding onto something for all these years, waiting for the right time to give it to you. Your mother kept a diary the last several years of her life. She was always very private about it, so even after her death I respected that and never read it. I would think that if she did want someone to read it, then it would be you. But I leave that decision in your hands now. You don't need to read it to know that she loved you, but maybe it will help you know her better.
Teddy set down the note and carefully unwrapped the package; it was a small, leather-bound notebook, and when he flipped through it he saw that it was nearly full with scrawled writing. Just glancing at the dates, he saw that it was mostly the year he was born and the couple of years before that.
He turned the diary over in his hands, hesitating. He too felt like it would be some invasion of his mother's privacy to read it. Would she want him to? He supposed that depended on what secrets were inside...
Finally, he decided to just give it some more thought. He closed it up in a drawer and then went about getting dressed, sighing a little as he noticed a small hole in the hem of his favourite shirt. He looked in the mirror, brushing his hair back from his eyes. Maybe it was time for a change. For the past couple of years he had mostly kept his hair a light aqua, eyes to match, because Victoire had liked it. He went through a few hair colours, letting it linger on a darker blue for a moment. Maybe he should get a nose ring. Victoire would have hated that.
He jumped, startled, when he heard a knock on his door. Glancing back in the mirror, he let his hair go back to his normal colour, then went to the front door and opened it. "Mrs. Weasley!"
She stood there with a tentative smile, holding a plate covered in plastic wrap. "Good morning, Teddy. May I come in?"
Teddy was suddenly very glad that he had cleaned his flat. "Yes, yes of course! Come in. It's, ah, not much..."
Mrs. Weasley swept past him, waving a hand dismissively. "Oh, my dear, it's positively cosy. Here." She held out the plate. "I made you a loaf of that sweet bread that you like so much."
Teddy took it from her gratefully. "Gosh... thanks."
"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here."
"The thought did cross my mind. Would you like some tea?"
"Oh, no thank you." Molly sank into a chair. "I'm afraid I can't stay long. To be blunt about it, Fleur told me about you and Victoire."
Teddy bit his lip, leaning against the table.
"I happened to be in Diagon Alley today doing some shopping," she continued, "and so I just wanted to stop by and make sure that you know... that, of course, whether you are dating Victoire or not, that you are still very much a part of our family."
Teddy smiled. "Really?"
"Of course! Teddy, sweetheart, you've always been very important to us - long before you were old enough to start up with Victoire. And not only because you're Harry's godson, either. Your mother and father were both very important to us. You may not be a Weasley by blood, but you're one in our hearts."
Teddy's heart swelled. "Thank you. Really. That means so much to me. Especially -" He cut himself off, unsure.
"Ah, so you've heard about Ginny and Harry?" Molly nodded, then sighed. "It's such a shame. But I hope that Harry realizes the same thing that I just told you. Especially with the children involved. Once a Weasley, always a Weasley." She reached out and patted Teddy's arm. "Victoire may be upset right now, but she'll come around. And be grateful for your friendship."
"How's she doing?" Teddy asked tentatively.
"Quite well, actually. Fleur tells me that she recently booked a Witch Weekly spread."
"Oh... wow." And once again, Teddy questioned his own sanity in breaking things off with a model. For some reason, Percy's words rang in his ears. I can appreciate when a woman is attractive...
"You'll come for Christmas this year, won't you?" Molly added, giving him an expectant look. "It wouldn't be the same without you and Andromeda and Kingsley."
"Of course," Teddy assured her. "You know how I love your cooking. And thank you again for the sweet bread."
She beamed at him. "You know, your mother loved it as well. When she was down, she'd drown herself and in sweet bread and hot cocoa."
Teddy's lip quirked. "Gram's mentioned how much she loved chocolate."
"I can't tell you how happy it made me to see her and your father happy, finally," Molly added. "I'm sure you've heard this story a hundred times, but it took a while for your father to come around and commit. You know, he had all these hang-ups about his condition and his finances and the age difference..."
Given recent revelations, Teddy really hoped those were the reasons.
Molly shook her head, clucking her tongue a little. "That poor girl, with all that on top of her cousin's death..."
"Sirius?" Teddy blurted, surprised to hear him come into it.
"Well yes, my dear. They were very close, you know. Second cousins or thereabouts, hardly related at all, but I guess when you don't have any family like poor Sirius, every little bit counts. We had a lot of long talks that year, your mother and I. She actually held a lot of guilt about his death."
That was something that Teddy hadn't heard before. "Guilt? Why?"
"Well, it was Bellatrix that sent him through the veil," Molly said, and her lips twisted a little as she said the name. "Tonks had been fighting her earlier in that battle, and her aunt managed to give her the slip. She felt that if she'd finished her off, then Sirius wouldn't have died. And then on top of that, Remus was putting his life in danger, working undercover with the werewolves. I think she was worried about losing him altogether as well, even more so than distress over having lost him romantically." Molly sighed softly. "I was just so glad to see it work out between them in the end. They may not have had much time together, but the time that they had left, at least they were able to spend it together."
When Teddy was a kid and everyone harped on how selfless his parents had been, how important their lives had been, all he could do was think how unfair it was, and that they were all wrong, besides. Selfless? If they'd really been selfless, one of them would have stayed at home that night instead of risking leaving him orphaned...
Luckily, as he grew older it all made more sense, but he still hated hearing platitudes when it came to his dead parents. Molly's words, at least, had something real behind them.
Teddy just nodded, not really knowing what to say. Molly seemed to understand, though. She pulled herself to her feet and then pulled him into a tight hug. He felt much better, actually. He really had been worried what would happen between them when he was no longer with Victoire.
"I'll see you at Christmas," he promised.
She beamed at him, told him to tell his Grandmother hello for her, and then left him there.
Once she was gone, Teddy's eyes flicked over to the drawer where he'd put his mother's diary. Something that Molly had said kept running through his mind. I think she was worried that she would lose him as well. And then he remembered everything his Grandmother had said, about how his mother had known about Sirius and Remus' relationship and yet it hadn't been a problem...
Finally, Teddy decided that one thing his mother would not want would be for him to be driving himself crazy with curiosity.
So he sat down at his desk, took out the journal, and began to read.
Spending the weekend alone in his house was incredibly strange for Harry. Not only were there no kids running around, but no Ginny. He didn't wake to the sound of the whistling tea kettle, didn't find fresh orange juice in the kitchen, didn't have to cook for two, didn't have anyone to help him with the crossword in The Daily Prophet.
On Saturday night, he had very strongly considered calling Percy. What harm would it do, really? It wasn't even about sex, not really, Harry was just so... lonely. And it was hard not to remember what it felt like to have Percy's arms around him. Every interaction they'd had, it was like unwrapping a little more of a present, getting Percy out of his shell, only to find that there was real passion underneath.
Harry knew that it was complicated, and that Percy was probably right, it wasn't worth disrupting the family. And it wasn't as if Harry was in love with him, but it would be nice to fall asleep next to someone again. Plus he had a feeling that Percy would be really, really good at crosswords.
He managed to resist, however - even if Saturday night in bed involved a furious wank to a mishmash of images in his head of Percy, of Sirius, of Sirius and Remus...
By the time Sunday morning rolled around, he realized how much he was looking forward to seeing Teddy. He made the tea and fresh orange juice himself, and then started on a stew, cutting up onions and potatoes in the kitchen, whistling a song he remembered hearing Sirius singing around Grimmauld Place. An old David Bowie song. For some reason, it cheered him.
"Harry! Are you in there?"
Harry heard Teddy calling from the front door. "In the kitchen!" He set down the knife and wiped his hands on a dish towel.
Teddy grinned as he walked in. He was holding a pie in one hand. "Cherry," he said cheerfully.
"Great! Sorry I didn't hear you knock, I was chopping up a storm in here."
"Can I help?"
"Can you peel some potatoes?"
"Like a pro!" Teddy set down the pie and then rolled up the sleeves of the blue button-down shirt he was wearing. "So, how have you been?" There was definitely something unspoken behind that, and Harry knew just what he meant: how are you coping without Ginny?
"I'm doing all right," Harry said, but admitted, "It's been a bit of an adjustment. It's a really big change to go from having kids running around, and a wife, to just... emptiness."
"Are you feeling a little better now?" Teddy asked, reaching over to grab a potato.
"It's good to see you," Harry admitted. "Nice hair colour, by the way." It was a much darker blue than usual, and the darkness in his eyes to match seemed to suit him.
"Thanks," Teddy said, running a hand through it. "And it's good to see you, too. I've been kind of lonely myself. You know... Mrs. Weasley dropped by the other day."
Harry lifted an eyebrow before going back to chopping up onions. "Oh?" His lips quirked up into a smile. "She brought you food, didn't she."
Teddy laughed. "Yes, she did!"
Harry jerked his thumb towards a loaf of bread in a basket on the edge of the kitchen island. "She stopped by to make sure I knew that she and Arthur weren't holding it against me, how things turned out with Ginny." He really thought he owed Ginny a lot in this situation. She had taken everything so gracefully, and the truth was, Harry thought that in the end she was having the same sorts of reservations.
"And to make sure you're still coming for Christmas?" Teddy added, chuckling. "You know, I don't think it would be possible for us to escape that family."
"Definitely not. And I for one am incredibly grateful for that."
Harry started throwing ingredients into the stew, and he and Teddy chatted for a while about the bookshop, and then about Teddy's plans to look into mediwizard training. Harry didn't offer to pull strings for him - he knew that wasn't what Teddy wanted. He just wanted support, for someone to tell him that they would support his decision either way, and that's what Harry gave him.
It wasn't until they sat down to eat that Teddy brought up what he'd learned since their conversation earlier in the week.
"It turns out that my mother knew about my father and Sirius," he told Harry after sipping from a glass of wine.
Harry was surprised to hear that. "Really?"
Teddy nodded. "Actually..." He rubbed his thumb over the edge of the glass idly. "There was a time, before Sirius' death, that all three of them were involved."
It was so strange for Harry to hear that - it was like a mirror of what he himself had found when he'd started digging. But all he could manage was to repeat, "... really?"
Another nod. "I read my mother's diary. It turns out that Sirius was the one who initially pushed the two of them together, who made my dad see that my mum was interested in him. When my mum found out about the two of them, she tried to step back, but then somehow, they just... all came together." He didn't understand entirely how it had happened, from reading the diary entries. But he could tell from the way she wrote about her feelings that there was love involved from all sides. "That's why they were separated for a while, after Sirius' death. They weren't sure they could sustain a relationship with just the two of them. And my dad thought that he wasn't good enough for her, on his own."
Harry's eyes widened a little, as he remembered something. "You know, when... after Sirius died, and I saw how depressed Tonks was, I thought that she had been in love with Sirius. Then later when I found out about her and Remus, everyone just assumed that it was actually just lovesickness. But I guess it was... both?"
"Yeah. It was really hard for her, after losing one lover, to see the other one take on such a dangerous assignment where she hardly heard from him at all. She was terrified that Remus would die as well - but that was what made her realize that she really did love him. It just took him longer to come around."
Harry thought about Sirius, sharing Remus with James when he was in school, sharing him with Tonks when he got out of Azkaban. Or was it the other way around? He thought about the way that Sirius looked at James in a flicker of movement in that photograph. The way he'd looked at him. Who was it that Sirius was really in love with? Could it have been all three of them?
And how wrong was it that Harry felt a flicker of jealousy, when he thought about that? It was nothing but an inappropriate adolescent fantasy, the feelings he'd had about his godfather. He'd been fifteen, and Sirius thirty-six! It was practically criminal...
Of course, if Sirius had lived... he would have been forty-one when Harry was twenty. That wasn't much more than the age difference between him and Teddy.
Teddy, who, when Harry looked across the table at him, had changed his eyes and hair again. Or rather, let the morph slide back into his true appearance, one that Harry hadn't seen for years, when Teddy was much younger.
The light brown hair that fell in his face the same way it had for Remus - probably Teddy thought it was stylish, but for his father the point had been to cover a scar that ran across his cheek. His nose, too, belonged to his father, inside the heart-shaped face. And his eyes... yes, those were from his mother, but they belonged to someone else, too. The same dark, endless eyes that Harry had seen looking at him through a small crack in a bedroom door.
Suddenly, his godson was like the gorgeous lovechild of the two men Harry had spent his adolescence fantasizing about.
"It's such a fascinating revelation," Harry blurted, and then pulled himself to his feet and began clearing away dishes. "Would you like to play some chess? You can set up the board in my office, if you like. While I finish up here."
Chess would be good. Chess was extremely distracting.
Teddy regarded him quizzically for a moment, then shrugged a little before standing. "Sure."
As Harry watched him go, he took a moment to collect himself. Maybe he should make a point to see Percy. As his sexual frustration was obviously leading to lapses in his sanity.
Teddy wondered, as he made his way back through the house towards Harry's office, if it had been his story that had suddenly caused Harry to start acting strangely. Were his parents involved in a threesome really that shocking? After all, it had ended with Sirius' death, it's not as if there was any question as to Teddy's paternity or anything awful like that...
He walked into the study, and started to sit down in front of the chess board, but then he noticed something out of place on Harry's desk.
Teddy had never actually seen one in person, but he recognized the object, and he couldn't help but get a closer look. He peered down into the bowl, watching the silver liquid swirl. After a moment, he saw an image start to float to the surface, a snippet of... was that his father? Teddy leaned closer, trying to get a better look, and then...
Suddenly he was tumbling through space in a swirl of silver, before landing with a thud in a dark hallway. He looked up, and saw Harry standing in front of him, wearing tattered pyjamas. Except... it wasn't Harry. At least, not as Teddy knew him. It was a Harry even younger than Teddy, closer to his son James' age.
Teddy realized with equal parts horror and fascination that he'd fallen into the Pensieve, into one of Harry's memories. Not bothering to be quiet (he did know how Pensieves worked), he got to his feet and stood behind Harry, trying to get a look at what he was spying on.
Teddy's eyes widened as he saw, through the crack in the door, his father fucking Sirius Black. It slowly dawned on him that this was what Harry meant when he'd said that he'd seen something he shouldn't have. The reason he knew about Sirius and Remus was that he'd caught them together.
Teddy swallowed hard, wrenching his eyes away from the sight. It was just too weird to watch his own father like that, and as he pulled back and saw the expression of bliss on Sirius Black's face, he felt an uncomfortable pull of arousal that made him want to flee.
Of course, that's when he noticed Harry's hand slipping down the front of his pyjama bottoms.
Teddy stared, unable to stop himself. He stood there and watched as Harry watched Sirius and Teddy's father. Teddy watched the expression on Harry's face, the way that his tongue just barely darted out of his mouth to wet his lips, the way that his wrist moved furiously as he wanked. He found himself imagining Harry making that same expression, but it was the Harry he knew, the thirty-nine year old Harry, and he was underneath Percy Weasley...
Teddy watched Harry as he came, and without even realizing it, he had started to rub his own erection through the suddenly tight confines of his jeans.
... and that was when the memory ended.
Suddenly, Teddy was back in Harry's office. And Harry was standing there with a disapproving look on his face. And Teddy still had his hand on his crotch.
Harry had walked into the office just in time to see Teddy fall into the Pensieve. So he'd had about five minutes to try to come up with an explanation for what Teddy was going to see without being completely humiliated. Something about... adolescent experimentation? Or maybe Teddy would be so preoccupied with seeing Remus and Sirius that he wouldn't even notice that Harry had been wanking while he was spying...
What Harry hadn't expected was for Teddy to emerge with an erection.
The young man blushed furiously, and Harry panicked inside his head, trying to think of what on earth he should say. "Teddy..."
"I - I'm sorry," Teddy blurted, and his eyes darted around frantically, as if he were looking for an escape route. Or maybe something he could hold in front of his crotch. "I know I shouldn't have looked, but I saw my father's face, and then I just sort of... fell in."
"It's... okay," Harry said, careful to keep his eyes away from the young man's waist. Oh god, he should not be having thoughts like this. Not only was Teddy sixteen years younger than him, but he was Harry's godson! It was...
Harry swallowed uncomfortably. It was just as inappropriate as when Sirius had looked at Harry while he'd orgasmed. As the countless times that Harry had wanked while imagining his godfather having sex...
Harry realized with some horror that his attempt not to stare at Teddy hadn't been very successful. God, he probably looked like a dirty old man. And now that Teddy had seen the Pensieve, he knew about Harry's sexuality...
"Harry," Teddy repeated. And then he did something that absolutely shocked Harry. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them.
Their bodies barely touched, but Harry could feel the outline of Teddy's erection grazing against his thigh. And when the younger man spoke, he turned his head so that his lips were inches from Harry's ear.
"I spoke with Percy. He didn't mean to, but he... told me."
Harry felt himself blushing. "Teddy..."
"I've been feeling strange since then," Teddy continued. "I've had some weird feelings that I didn't understand, until just now when I saw you in the Pensieve."
Harry felt his breath beginning to come in short bursts, his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this turned on. But it was so wrong! And what if he was reading this wrong? What if Teddy was about to say, 'I've decided that I'm homophobic' and storm out?
It seemed as if they stood like that for hours. Harry could feel Teddy's breath on his neck. And he realized after a moment that Teddy's heart was beating just as fast.
And so it was Harry who finally bent his head and kissed Teddy - right or wrong be damned.
It was tentative at first, then Teddy made a small sound that Harry found encouraging, and after a few moments, each man's arms were locked tight around the waist of the other. It reminded Harry of the first time he'd kissed a man - it hadn't been Percy, but there still hadn't been many before - and it felt decidedly strange to be on the other side of that.
When he pulled away, Teddy's face was flushed, and he was staring at Harry with those deep black eyes. "Harry, I want you," he said in a very resolute way, and Harry could imagine him saying it that way to Victoire. Taking charge, being a man.
"Teddy." Harry took a deep breath. "You need to stop and think about this. Even if you're... even if you've discovered something about yourself here, if you're beginning to explore your sexuality, you... it shouldn't be me, it's not appropriate! You're just confused because you don't know any other gay men. You need to go out and find someone your own age -"
"Inappropriate?" Teddy scoffed. "Please. You're my godfather, Harry, not my father. Hell, you weren't even a father figure to me, not really. You didn't teach me to fly a broom or how to play chess or how to pick up girls. Kingsley did all that. You've just been a friend to me. And I've always felt so close to you, that connection, because of everything we have in common. I just didn't realize until now that it was something else entirely."
"I'm too old -"
"You didn't think that about Sirius when you were wanking over him!"
Harry blushed furiously. "I am not going to take advantage of you!"
"You're not. I'm taking advantage of you." And with that, Teddy shoved Harry back against the desk and kissed him again, leaning over him, and Harry moaned in spite of himself, feeling his cock swelling in his trousers.
"Please, Harry," Teddy repeated, and he was straightening up, unbuttoning his shirt and revealing a tan, lightly toned chest. "I want you. You. This has nothing to do with my parents or with Sirius, and it's not about family or godfathers. It's just about me. And you. And I want you to teach me."
Harry swallowed, and found himself saying a silent prayer for Remus to forgive him. It would be easier to make this not about anyone else if Teddy didn't look so much like his father. "Not here," he said, and wrapped his fingers around Teddy's wrist. "My bedroom."
Teddy's heart was still pounding with fear as they made their way to Harry's bedroom, but he was getting more and more comfortable. Once there, he pushed his shirt off of his shoulders and turned his hair a bright violet. He waggled his eyebrows. "You like?"
Harry smiled, and Teddy thought he saw something almost like relief there - but then there was a new look in his eyes, something dark and sexy that trumped any way that Victoire had ever looked at him (because, let's face it, she could be a little vapid). "I like it," Harry said, and then his arms were around Teddy's waist again and he they were kissing hungrily as Harry's hands went to the fastenings on Teddy's jeans.
By the time Teddy was standing there in his y-fronts, he'd begun to wonder exactly how this was going to work. He watched Harry pull off his own shirt, admiring the older man's physique. Harry was lean, with little hair on his body, but there was a small amount that began at his navel and trailed down to disappear in the waistband of his trousers that Teddy suddenly found extremely interesting.
"We can stop at any time..." Harry offered, which Teddy found vaguely patronizing, so he just ignored it in favour of bending his head to suck one of Harry's nipples into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it and enjoyed the quiet moan that the action solicited.
"Are you usually a top or a bottom?" Teddy asked bluntly when he raised his head, and Harry's eyes widened in surprise.
"I thought you'd never done this before!"
Teddy rolled his eyes. "No, but I'm not completely ignorant. I'm thinking of becoming a mediwizard, you know; I've read a lot of books on anatomy. And besides, it's not difficult to figure out that Tab A goes into Slot B." He gave Harry his best 'I'm a Ravenclaw, remember?' look.
Harry actually chuckled a little at that. "I'm usually a bottom," he admitted. "But if you have a preference..."
To be honest, Teddy was relieved. He was afraid that Harry would insist on... well... because he was older and more experienced. And there were some ideas that Teddy was still getting used to with this whole 'liking men' thing.
"That works," he said quickly, and Harry smiled as he pushed down his trousers, revealing a pair of underpants nearly identical to Teddy's.
"Don't worry," Harry said, "I'll talk you through it. Bring your wand." And Teddy thought that this was far better than teaching him how to ride a bike or play chess or pick up girls.
They moved to the bed, and Harry stepped out of his y-fronts before settling onto the bed. Teddy felt his mouth go a little dry as his eyes lingered on Harry's cock, hard and pink and eager. He'd never really thought about another man's cock this way before. But it felt entirely natural, somehow, to want to reach out and touch it. So he did.
Harry's eyes closed and he let out a ragged sigh as Teddy's palm moved over his erection. "You Ravenclaws are always such quick learners..."
Teddy laughed, then pulled away because Harry was starting to turn over, until he was lying on his stomach.
He turned his head and settled it on his folded arms, and said, "The same lubrication spell you use to masturbate. Tap your wand on the back of my arse."
Teddy blushed a little, but did as he was told.
Harry made a small sound, then sighed a little and said, "Okay, Teddy, now -" He hesitated.
But Teddy was already taking the initiative. It just made sense, after all. He leaned over Harry and carefully pushed one finger inside him.
"Ravenclaws," Harry muttered before making a sound of pleasure.
Teddy smiled, adding another finger, beyond pleased that he was doing something to make Harry feel good. He wondered how long this needed to last, because seeing Harry like this, spread and exposed and making sexy sounds... well, his own cock felt near to bursting.
"That's good," Harry gasped after a few moments, and Teddy pulled away. "Okay, Teddy, just..." He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, but not before turning and pulling Teddy's head down into a fierce kiss.
Slot A into Tab B, Teddy thought as he settled himself behind Harry. And he started to push in slowly, ready to stop at any moment if Harry told him he was doing something wrong.
But by the time Teddy pushed in all the way - or at least so far that he couldn't go any further - Harry's only response was to groan, "Oh god, please..."
And so Teddy began to thrust. It felt so good, so good, so tight and warm and fucking fantastic, just as good as fucking a girl if not better. And the way that Harry was moving underneath him, pushing his arse back, canting his hips, it made every thrust even deeper, everything so much more.
"Oh god, Harry -" Teddy gasped, and realized with some horror that he wasn't going to be able to last long at all. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold back, even though even after this short amount of time, his entire body was screaming at him that it felt so fucking good, he needed to come already!
Then Harry rasped, "Don't hold back, Teddy. Fuck, don't hold back, just - let go, come in me..."
And so Teddy did. He practically screamed, it felt so amazing, his entire body shuddering with the intensity of the release, and when he pulled away, there were small purple bruises on Harry's hips from where Teddy had been holding onto him so tightly.
"Oh fuck," Teddy moaned, collapsing boneless onto the bed beside him.
"That was fantastic," Harry murmured, and only then did Teddy realize that he'd forgotten something.
"Oh fuck, you haven't -" Teddy's eyes flicked down to Harry's erection.
"It's okay, Teddy, it was your first time, I didn't expect you to last."
Teddy smiled lazily and then pushed Harry over onto his back, then swung one leg over to straddle him. "So how should we handle this?" He pushed his arse back, purposely brushing against Harry's erection.
"Oh fuck," Harry gasped.
Teddy had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but he did know that he really wanted to do it. And so without any encouragement, he moved down Harry's body, settled himself between his legs, and lowered his head, taking Harry's cock into his mouth.
Harry cried out, back arching off of the bed. Teddy had a feeling that he wasn't going to last long either, even with Teddy's beginner technique.
He used his instincts and from what he knew of watching Victoire go down on him, and what he knew felt good. He used his tongue a lot, not being able to take it as far down his throat as he would have thought.
Harry's breathing became irregular, laboured, and Teddy assumed that it was having its desired effect, at least. And by the time Harry reached down and threaded his fingers through Teddy's hair and moaned, "Oh god, oh Teddy, I'm - oh, fuck, I'm going to -" Teddy was really getting into it. He braced himself as the flood of come filled his mouth, and was surprised when the taste wasn't terrible.
Teddy felt bloody amazing.
"You're bloody amazing," Harry said weakly as Teddy climbed back up to lay beside him in the bed. Harry's entire body felt light and delicious, as if he'd just had a long, hot bath.
"You're a very good teacher," Teddy assured him, sighing contently and settling his head onto the crook of Harry's shoulder. "I could stay, you know. Then you won't have to be alone in the house."
"Please," Harry said, and pushed a lock of violet hair away from Teddy's eyes.
When Teddy closed his eyes, Harry looked up towards the ceiling. As his mind darted over the tangled web of relationships that his and Teddy's research had revealed, he could almost see them there, watching over them. Remus and Tonks hovering over Teddy, James above Harry. And Sirius in between them, smiling his approval at Harry.
And Harry had a feeling that, Weasleys or not, the two of them would never be hurting for a place to belong.